An open letter to every parent...

Dear parents,

Do not raise your children putting in their minds, that they should study hard, find a good job, and earn big to be able to provide for the family. Do not raise your eldest child needing them to be the most responsible & should always be there for their younger siblings. Do not raise your eldest to be the one to take over when parents can no longer fulfil their responsibilities.

Please do not be the parent that will always decide for them. Like sending them to med schools because your friend's children are doing the same, or choosing what school or course, or choosing the man to marry, maybe.

You think you are guiding them, but in reality, you are pressuring them.

And with too much pressure, some may succeed but most do not.

Success is not only measured by what degree you had, how high your position is, or how much is your salary. Success is how fulfilled you are because you are happy.

Most children, raised by this mindset end up not loving themselves enough. They find it hard to decide for themself. They feel guilt every time they put their selves first. Some ended up not having a family of their own. Some may have a family, but can't be totally committed because they still feel they have a role need to fulfil. Some may have a good career, or ended what you want them to be—but are they happy?

True, a life lived for others is priceless and noble but in this wicked, temporary world, you need to love yourself enough to be able to survive. Does a parent want that? I think they don't. You can say it wasn't your intention but are you even aware you are doing it?

Raise your children simply because you love them. LOVE should be UNCONDITIONAL. Send them to school, and provide them with their needs because it's for their best. Prepare them for their future, for their future children, for their own family, not to take over the family you started. Prepare them to be ready & responsible enough when you no longer can't be there for them, not to take your role when you no longer feel it.

Parents only want the best for their children, I understand that. But sometimes, LOVE is FREEDOM. LOVE is letting go. It's selfish to control your children's lives. They too had their own lives, and they only had one life to live. Guide them, but let them make the most out of it! Let them make mistakes & learn from them. It's better to look back in life knowing you did what your heart desires than having someone decide it for you—regardless of how it turned out.

And what's the saddest? Children who grew up in this family might apply it to their own children, and it's passing from generation to generation. Please do not let your children end up like this. Children are not investments. They are blessings from God.

(P.S. With all due respect, I meant no harm.) -from the eldest daughter, raised & expected to be always there for her family.